First days with Miss Juliet

I delivered Juliet on Sunday morning, and we ended up getting to stay until Tuesday afternoon.  Since  I was group B strep positive, and my labor progressed so quickly, I was only able to get one set of the antibiotics so they wanted me to stay at least 2 days to make sure she was okay.  I could barely get up to go to the bathroom, so I was not complaining!

Initial going home outfit, which we changed after she seemed cold and sad in it! Also I love seeing pictures from when she was a newborn and just so scrunched up all the time.

Home again!

When we were in the car it was so strange to me at first to realize that this baby was mine and I got to take it home!  

We were all looking a little ragged, but hey look at that cutie.

Our Stay at the Hospital

Even though my labor was incredibly difficult and the recovery was ROUGH, our time at the hospital with our baby girl was such a sacred time.  It will always be a time I treasure forever.

Once we got to our room and got settled in I was incredibly awake and just hopped up on adrenaline from the entire thing and just so happy.  Chris on the other hand, was quite tired, given it was about 6 or 7 in the morning by the time we got to our room.

This picture doesn't do it justice, but baby girl was born with SO much hair. 

First picture as a family of three!

After her first bath, she was sucking her thumb and it was the cutest thing ever

First night with us

At this point we still didn't have a name for Juliet but had narrowed it down to Juliet or Grace.  We knew if we named her Juliet it would be Juliet Grace Harmer, but we couldn't ever decide on a middle name we loved that would work with Grace.  Our nurse we had the first day loved the name Juliet Grace and continued to call her that the entire time she was with us.

Juliet's first night she slept 6 hours straight!! They weren't too happy with us when they found out though because she was such a big baby and came a bit early, they had to make sure her blood sugar levels remained normal and they almost went a little below normal after she slept so long.  I also remember during her first night with us, I woke up and it just hit me that I have a baby! So even though I could barely move, I got out of bed and brought her to snuggle in bed with me.

Putting on her first outfit.  So squishy.

The second day there we were finally able to agree upon a name, and decided Juliet Grace was the best name for her!  I can't imagine her as any other name now.

Juliet Grace's Arrival, Part 2

So after I was given the epidural, I was feeling great.  I did notice a small ache in my right back side. The nurses said that it's normal for epidurals to not work completely on your back and sometimes the baby's position can effect how it works.  The main nurse that helped throughout my labor, who was a rockstar and I wish I remembered her name, asked me if I was feeling like I needed to push or bear down at all.  I said I had no idea and she asked if I wanted her to check to see how far along I was now.  The second she checked me, she turned to the other nurse and told her to call the doctor right away because I was complete.  Which means, I went through the entire first part of labor all the way to 10 cm dilated WITHOUT an epidural.  I felt much more validated about the pain I had been going through.  Keep in mind, I got the epidural about 45 minutes after we arrived at the hospital.  I went from 6 to 10 cm in FORTY FIVE MINUTES.

The doctor arrived shortly after, which was sadly not my doctor since it was the weekend and she wasn't on call.  They let me take a 30 minute break before pushing since I had been in so much pain and wanted to rest before having to go back at it again.

Once we started pushing around 1 am, I noticed that the back pain that had been bothering me was getting severely worse.  It was starting to become unbearable with every single contraction.  It also seemed to get worse as I pushed.  The nurse said that this might mean the baby was posterior but they couldn't tell.  I pushed a good hour and the nurse seemed to think that she was posterior because she kept trying to move her body around but she wasn't making any progress out of my body.

We tried a ton of different techniques like pushing on my side, the nurse wrapped a sheet around her and had me pull on it as I pushed, using the bars on the hospital bed to pull as I pushed, pulling on my legs as one nurse held one leg and Chris held the other.  None of them seemed to be working.  I could tell that pushing wasn't doing anything because after every contraction that I pushed through, it would be silent.

The doctor came in for a bit to try to help me push as well, but once again nothing seemed to be effective.  At this point I started feeling funny and my mouth felt strange.  The doctor asked me if I was feeling sick, I said I think I might be, then the second the nurse punched open the bag for me, I threw up into it twice.

The doctor left for a bit and we were back at it again. No progress.  I was in so much pain.  The epidural had completely stopped working and I was feeling every single contraction in my back.  My legs were shaking as one of the nurses and Chris held them up for me to push.  I couldn't push because it hurt so much.  I begged for more medication and they got the anesthesiologist back in there to give me more.  However, it wasn't the same medication as an epidural.  Just something else he said would maybe help a little, but it did not!

The nurses then decided to let me take a short 30 minute break.  Chris went to move the car from the 4-hour parking since we knew we'd be here for the long haul.  I laid on my side and would fall asleep in between every contraction and then wake back up as they came along.  At this point I was so discouraged.  I thought there was no way this baby was going to come out.  I just kept hoping that I would pass out and they'd just do a C-section and I'd wake up with a baby!  No such luck.

The doctor came in as I was resting and told me I needed to start pushing harder or she would need to use forceps or do a C-section.  I was so discouraged.  I had no idea how I could physically push any harder!! The nurses came back in once again and we pushed probably for a good 30-45 minutes and then the doctor came in, saw that I still had made no progress, and asked if I would be okay with forceps.  At this point, I could care less I just wanted this baby OUT.

She finally got the forceps out, which I thankfully did not see.  After using the forceps through 2 contractions of pushing, I pushed on my own and our beautiful baby girl was born at 3:26 am, which was really 4:26 am, but the time changed an hour back while we were there.

8 pounds, 15 oz

20 inches

Poor baby girl had quite a big bump on her head when she was first born from the forceps.  Luckily it went away very quickly.

Chris came and showed me this picture of her right after she was born, because I only saw her for a second before the NICU nurses had to make sure she was okay.

It was confirmed after she was born that she was posterior and the doctor said there was no way she would've come out without the forceps.  Which I wish we could've realized before I pushed for 3.5 hours!!  I sadly did not get to hold her right after she was born because she had passed meconium during labor so they had to have her taken straight to the NICU nurses in the room to make sure she was okay.  After she was checked by the nurses, Chris got to hold her as I was stitched up, as the forceps caused me to have really bad tearing.

First time holding baby girl and enjoying some skin to skin.

Juliet Grace's Arrival, part 1

I'm sorry this is going to be a novel, but I want to have this all recorded for myself.

Close to the end of my pregnancy I was slowly becoming more and more dilated each time I went to the doctor.  I believe right around 34 weeks I was 1 centimeter dilated.  Then the next week I went I was 2 cm dilated...3 cm at 36 weeks...4 cm  at 37...5 cm at 38. So every week I went to the doctor from about 36 weeks on she would tell me...I'm sure you'll have your baby before your next appointment.  Worst words you could ever say to a woman who is so close to the end of her pregnancy!!

At 38 weeks they stripped my membranes and she told me she'd see me at the hospital within the next 48 hours...no such luck.  After being on bedrest for 7 weeks trying to keep baby girl in,  baby girl decided she'd rather it stay that way.

38.5 weeks pregnant, October 27

So the few days before I actually went into labor I noticed I was having a lot more painful contractions (which is a joke now after actually BEING in labor and comparing the two contractions).  So every night before we actually went in to the hospital Chris and I would sit there and watch a show or play a game while I timed contractions on my phone.  They would be about 5 minutes or closer apart but I was always hesitant to go in because the  contractions didn't  "make me feel like I was going to die", as my sister had put it.  Also after having contractions so frequently during my pregnancy, it's hard to convince yourself it's the real thing!

October 30, day before we went into the hospital

Well come Saturday night on Halloween, Chris and I were watching a show on Netflix and eating a ton of candy that we bought in hopes of trick or treaters that would come by that did not.  I noticed that I was having the most painful contractions I had experienced yet.  I was having to start pausing to get through a contraction and couldn't really focus on much else.  Chris, the wonderful husband he is, asked for probably the 10th time if we should go into the hospital.  I finally agreed, but was so worried we'd get there and they'd send us home!  We quickly grabbed our things and got in the car.

On the way to the hospital I remember telling Chris I felt like knives were hitting me in the back over and over.  Once we got to the hospital, Chris asked if I wanted him to drop me off at the front.  I said no, which is so ridiculous and funny to me now.  So we walked in to the hospital and they immediately put me in a wheelchair and wheeled me up to Labor and Delivery.

Once we got to Labor and Delivery around 11:30 pm, they put me in triage and told me to put on a gown.  I kid you not, the second I stood up to put on my gown, my water broke!  I was so stressed when it happened because I thought I had peed my pants and was embarrassed about them having to clean it up.  Until I realized how much it was and told Chris to tell the nurses my water broke!  They immediately moved me into my own room and got me settled in.

As soon as my water broke the contractions REALLY started.  They checked me right after it broke and I was 6 cm dilated.  I barely was able to get myself into my bed.  I just kept saying "I can't do this" over and over.  Once I was in my room, I begged for an epidural as soon as I could possibly get one.  They went through the questions to check me in, which THANKFULLY wasn't that many because I had called earlier that same day to check in for my schedule induction the following Tuesday.

A nurse then came in to start my IV and draw blood.  I couldn't get the epidural until my lab results came back from getting my blood drawn.  This was seriousl
y torture.  The nurse poked me 5 different times before she was able to actually get a good vein.  Which is annoying to begin with, but doing this to a woman who is in full on labor is just cruel.  During this stage of labor, I remember asking one of the nurses HOW do people have natural birth and she said they're crazy people! Haha I bow down to anyone who would choose to not get an epidural by their own free will. However finally after crying and begging and lots of "I can't do this", I was able to get my epidural.

Which NO ONE tells you is so hard.  Not the actual epidural going in, that I could care less about. The part where you are going through hardcore contractions and have to sit completely still so the needle goes in properly.  I was shaking so hard and I think I briefly accidentally rested my head on a nurse's shoulder before realizing that this was weird.

Post epidural, clearly

A very flattering angle for me.